The rascal himself

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The Doug Adams kink, fetish, BDSM and bimbo slut pages

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The CockToy - an Introduction

This site explores a range and variety of interests that have been my focus at one time or another. Amongst all of them is the enjoyment of women who find themselves drawn either to sex, submission or for the most part, both. Whether it's the masochist, the slut, the bimbo or the whore, at various times my concentration has been directed towards her and I've slaked my thirst and then looked further to see what other pleasures await me. In its time each has given me satisfaction and I have learned what I can, savouring the moment rather than restlessly moving on to the next thrill. None of them separately has given me as much pleasure, or provided the complexity and fascination, the hidden delights and superficial satisfaction combined as the presence and continued education of an accomplished cocktoy.

To me the cocktoy represents the pinnacle of pleasure and service. It's a taste that grows as one matures. The simple desires of youth (let's get as drunk as we can, eat a curry no other man dare try) transform themseleves into a searh for richness and subtlety as the years lay their hand on you and you grow to prefer quality over more superficial and obvious attractions. That is what I find in the cocktoy. Any girl can spread her legs like a barroom whore and show what a slut she is, you can dress her to your taste, or tie her up and whip her, or humiliate her in public: all of these are are fun and pleasure for the dominant man ... and yet, without a spark of something more, a richer blend of the compelling, intoxicating and entrancing, you find yourself dissatisfied and wanting what I intend to describe in the pages dedicated to the true cocktoy.

So what is a cocktoy? Simple labels can be misleading and are likely to be interpreted differently by each person who hears them. Let me start then by listing some of the more obvious features of what I mean when I talk about a cocktoy, followed by some of the things that she either must not or need not be. Incidentally, in heterosexual terms the cocktoy is by definition female; the male counterpart for dominant women is the toycock. Probably 80% of what is written here about cocktoys applies similarly to toycocks but there are differences. Maybe one day there will also be a similar description and training manual here for toycocks.

A cocktoy is a woman who dedicates herself to learning the arts of providing sexual pleasure to her owner. I should point out that there are numerous examples in history of women who have done that and who show no obvious signs of submissiveness; those may have been courtesans, diplomats, escorts, spies or any one of a number of other things but the cocktoy as described in these pages also enjoys her submission and expresses it through the will to learn the skills of pleasing. The cocktoy:

  • Sees serving to provide pleasure as her mission in life
  • Dedicates herself to learning the skills needed as much as any skilled professional in another walk of life
  • Looks always for ways to improve and practises until she is perfect
  • Embraces her rôle with enthusiasm and vigour
  • Gets joy and delight from serving well

Make no mistake. Becoming a good cocktoy is just as difficult as reaching high levels of skill in any other field. This does not happen by accident; it takes an act of will backed with concentration, focus, dedication and a lifetime of learning coupled with coaching and natural talent if it's going to be done well. Cocktoys don't spring into life fully-formed. Natural ability must be combined with proper training and coaching to bring out the best. This is not to decry the amateur cocktoy who has to fit her interest in with the myriad other demands of modern life; I take off my hat and salute any girl who understands that this is her vocation. Nonetheless on this and the related pages we will explore how a top professional cocktoy can be trained and coached and give a roadmap for anyone who wishes to embark on self-training too.

Being a cocktoy is a state of mind. It's simply not possible to learn all the skills that are required without understanding what they are and then one by one learning them and putting them into practice. Whilst she may not always be centre stage and being called upon to serve overtly, the cocktoy nonetheless knows all the time what her purpose is and she can't do it as an act. Every aspect of her day-to-day life is necessarily affected by her choice to learn and serve. When eating, walking, shopping, working: every moment of her waking hours and her dreams too are nuanced by her metier. Sometimes she is overtly a cocktoy, other times she may almost fade into the background but the fact remains. She is what she is and it's part of her fabric of life; it's not a garment worn or removed at will.

Lest there should be misunderstanding it may help to define the cocktoy by what she is not (at least not by requirement, her owner may ask her to slip into these rôles from time to time: The cocktoy is not necessarily:

  • A bimbo. A true bimbo is a dumb airhead and simply doesn't have the mental ability to learn the skills of the cocktoy. Good bimbos have a lot of native cocktoy ability and a smart one may learn enough to progress beyond mere bimbo-dom
  • A simple slut. Whereas the slut is generally willing to provide pleasure for any cock she can get, the cocktoy may often serve only her owner or his friends on special occasions
  • Into other forms of domination and submission. There's no reason why she shouldn't be, but it's not a requirement
  • Always young and beautiful. Learning how to please and bring happiness is not restricted to those blessed with great youth of beauty. As a later page will show, women in their fifties and later can still learn
  • Thin and waif-like. Remember, tastes vary - a cocktoy is defined by what she does, not how she looks. Some of the best cocktoys could pass you in the street and unless your eye was alert you might not notice

It is worth repeating the last two points there. Skilled cocktoys need not (indeed it's hard to see how a very young cocktoy could have learned the arts) be slim teenage beauties with the dewy blush of youth still wet on their cheeks. Most only blossom after several years of intense study and practice. Having said that, from the owner's perspective it always easier to teach someone young; the two reasons for this being that younger minds learn more quickly and there is no previous conditioning or rules to un-learn. If the teacher is gifted then the challenge and hence the reward of successfully training a mature cocktoy may well be all the greater.

Subsequent pages here will look at specific aspects of what the cocktoy must learn in order to serve with style and distinction. In time it's hoped that a full cocktoy training manual will emerge from these pages. It will naturally reflect my own tastes and will need to be adapted to suit the needs of other cocktoy trainers looking for a suitable training scheme but I'm struck by the lack of such material to be found easily elsewhere.

Doug's cocktoy training curriculum

There are two parts to training a good cocktoy, one of which might seem out of place unless you have the experience that I have. The easy part is training the cocktoy. That simply takes time and attention to detail unless you have started out with a girl who has no talent. The hard part is the owner. So many supposedly dominant men presume that they spring full-fledged from some kind of supernatural foundry and that they already know everything. Sadly this is rarely the case. The number of clueless would-be cocktoy-owners I have met would drive me to drink if I wasn't partial to the stuff already. Fortunately not all owners are like that. You can find smart and realistic owners if you look hard enough. To pick just one example, Z and his fuckpuppet were a pleasure to meet: charming, good company and both aware of how to bring the best out of a natural fucktoy.

Many people who think that they are fit to own a cocktoy are simply living in fantasy land. What they really want is a bimbo slut but they haven't figured that out and spend their lives disappointed that they have never met one, only seeing their dream on the arms of others. Let's bring a small amount of reality into this. If you expect to be served by a smart, well-trained cocktoy who spends hours every day ensuring that her skills, fitness, presentation, conversational ability and sexual technique are on top form then you are going to have to provide her in return with time, guidance, emotional and financial support, affection and respect as well as regular sexual practice. An occasional fuck in a motel room will not cut the mustard.

The training curriculum must take into account the many skills needed for a cocktoy to complement and please her owner. They include specific skills and requirements such as

  • Deportment - how to walk and sit
  • Presentation - dress, hair, makeup, nails and accessories
  • Verbal forms of address of owner
  • How and when to ask permission and what for
  • Conversational skills
  • Fitness requirements
  • Etiquette
  • Diplomacy
  • Flattery
  • Teasing and flirting: how to so so, when and where appropriate
  • Prediction of owner's wants and needs (particularly hard to teach but innate ability can be improved)
  • Owner's tastes in physical presentation in public and private
  • Massage and bathing skills
  • Overall sexual technique and owner's preferences
  • Oral sexual skills
  • Vaginal sexual skills
As you can see, there is a lifetime's training and experience needed to excel in some of these areas. A great cocktoy could earn thousands a night as a top-flight escort. You, owner, should not forget that you are lucky to be able to call upon the services of such an accomplished toy for your cock and must play your part in keeping her honed happy and healthy in every respect! The training is never complete. The cocktoy's owner must provide her with regular encouragement, corection and be a source of stability and discipline for her. It's not easy to be a good cocktoy. The owner is owner, coach, mentor and lucky recipient all at once.

As time becomes available I will be adding detail to the cocktoy training manual. This page is merely an outline of what is needed. Following good training practice, we will define the wanted outcomes before diving into detail on the 'how' of the training. The marking scheme used in training is currently under development but you can download a PDF of the marking sheet that's currently under development to see what is being worked on. The initial version of the marking sheet was written to help provide feedback to the owner of tigerr who was sent to me for a short training and evaluation session. At present the marking sheet is rudimentary and the marking scheme itself needs to be documented. As the cocktoy material on this site is improved, those improments will be made. Your next step should be to read the cocktoy owner guide.

Reader's Comments

Peter wrote:

I am a regular visitor to your website and would like to compliment you on your excellent work. I recently read your section on cock toys and for what it is worth wanted to share an experience that I had a few years ago with a lady that was very much a cock toy.

It was about 3 years ago and I had an affair with a married lady who was 10 years older then me. I was 34 and she was 44. She was a very attractive lady - about 5'8" tall, slim, and had a very toned body. The reason for her having the affair was that while she stayed married to her husband for the sake of the lifestyle she had and the two children she had - she had drifted apart from her husband and they had not had sex for 5 years. Hard to believe but true. Definitely not a slut, and not what I would have called a submissive, very early on in our affair she told me that she would do "anything she could to make me happy", and she followed this up with her actions. One of my fetishes is for ladies wearing sexy lingerie, stockings, and high heels and after mentioning this to her she made a point of dressing up for me every time we got together.

Introducing her to light bondage and anal sex (which she had never done before) she not only never refused my requests but obliged them willingly. I was still somewhat of a novice Dom at the time and never managed to test her limits to extremes but towards the end of our affair I had started to introduce her to public display and humiliation. Taking her to bars and restaurants wearing very sexy and revealing outfits and showing her off she never complained but would tell me of the embarrasment that she felt when I did that to her. Many of these occassions led to some of the hottest fucking sessions we ever had. With more time I am sure that that I could have taken her much further than I did and that she would not have refused me but a change in my career bought our affair to an end.

'J' wrote in with some pictures of his delicious bondage-puppet and cocktoy - she's only partly trained at present but I think anyone would agree that she is ideally suited to the task from these pictures:





You can see a full gallery of her photos if you wish.